Loving my bike

I love it. I know I wanted a bike for my birthday but I was a little worried that I'd only use it a few times and then I'd give up. I have to tell you it's great. I went out uptown tonight (yeah well.....a whole 10 blocks) and actually biked to the restaurant. It only took about 10 minutes tops and I wasn't even knackered. The one thing I realized tonight was that I need lights for it! Good old Amazon....will order them tonight.

I'm getting more and more confident and don't stop on every corner any more. I even feel OK navigating around people.

I'm soooooo excited. It's brilliant.

Back

So I have hurt my back. It hurt a few weeks ago before I went to the UK but I smothered it in massages from the Chinese place around the corner and all seemed to be well. Coming back from England last Monday about half way through the flight I realized I was in quite a lot of pain. I think the culprit was the size of bag I took back with me....it was about 50lb in weight (well, maybe a tad more....but don't tell the airline!) and I was pulling it with one hand. I can only assume that's what made my back hurt.

So, this week I decided to smother it again with massage - it worked last time, it should work this. Gotta love this Chinese place. Cici is wonderful. I did worry a bit on Wednesday night when she was kneeling on my lower back, but it made an instant difference and it started to get better. I went again this afternoon and once again can feel it progressing. Hopefully by tomorrow the pain will be a distant memory.

Not only is it the weight of the bag from my trip but I'm sure that the fact that I sit on the sofa all the time using the computer. I'm either laying back or I'm bent over the ottoman. I really need to have better habits......either that or keep getting massages.

Which one should I choose? hahahahah - I think I already know the answer:)

Where did the week go?

I was full of lots of stories to post and things to write and then time just got away with me. I got back from the UK safely and was back at work before you know it. Trev's in Brazil (he left the day before I arrived home) so I didn't even have him to keep me company.

Jetlag hasn't been a problem for me this time at all - I really do find that if I go to an exercise class the day I get back it helps a lot. I've been good this week too - 2 sessions with Billy and a spin class.

That's right.......a spin class. I went anyway on Tuesday just to see how my ankle would cope. It wasn't too bad. So, by the time I got to the doc on Thursday I was ready to talk seriously with him about next steps. I have a chronic condition on the ATF ligament. He was pleased with the progress I had made but did say that I may need surgery. I'm really really against that. My ankle is not what it was that is for sure, but do I think it's bad enough to go under the knife? Certainly not. So, he agreed that I could start testing the waters with regard to exercise - I can start spinning again "half as much as you did before". So, my weekly plan is going to be:

Monday - Billy
Tuesday - Spin
Wednesday - Abs class
Thursday - Billy
Friday - Off
Saturday - Bodypump
Sunday - Shawn's class

What the doc has done has taken moulds of my feet and he is going to have insoles made for my shoes. We talked at length and even though I don't wear heels very often, it would be nice to have the choice - right? I'm very conscious that while it's OK....it may not heal properly. It's time to get one of those personal injury lawyers off the TV - if I get a no win no fee person then it should be good.

The other cool thing is that I've started using my bike to get to and from the gym. It's pretty cool - so easy to ride. I really thought I'd find it difficult, but I get around no problem, and I don't get puffed out or anything. I'm really pleased about that. At least I'll be able to use the bike for the next couple of months. What a great birthday present!

Work was mad this week - and I think finally, 8 months after I took this job I'm getting into a groove. I was given authority to hire someone to work for me to assist with more admin type stuff so have been interviewing. My 3 choices were 1) quiet guy 2) enthusiastic hungry guy and 3) my boss' best friend's sister (lots of experience BTW). Number 3 was a late contender - I'm always worried about how career limiting NOT choosing her would be. I started the interview process thinking I wanted a mini-me...but after careful consideration I realize that I need a plodder who has attention to detail so I can be sure that what's produced is accurate every single time. I went with number 3. I think it will be a good match so I'm really looking forward to get rid of all the scheduled BS I deal with - and spend more time doing more creative stuff. I'm having to learn that while I feel it's administrative no-one else seems to think it is - weird huh?

This weekend is pretty quiet. I have a couple of things planned - but mainly I'm finishing all the sorting out we've been doing. Most of it was done - my job while Trev was away was to get to all the boxes under the beds and make sure that it's all wanted. I've binned really really old duvet covers and sheets (you know, the ones you keep just in case but never ever use). With all the storage we'd bought at IKEA I managed to completely empty the dresser in our bedroom - so, that's going to go on Craigslist or eBay. That'll mean we'll be able to have the TV on the wall and give us much more room in the bedroom. I'm really looking forward to that.

OK, it's late and need to sleep.....have a great weekend.

Frankfurters in Frankfurt

This week has flown by. I'm sitting here after just having a lovely meal with Mum, Dad and Tim and it's the day before I leave. Remember the Animal House movie from 1978....way too many similarities with the American Pie movies. Still, it is quite funny.

Germany was great. A friend showed us around - we sat in a square, drank apple cider and sampled many different frankfurters. It's such a clean and clinical country. The coffee was amazing - it's quite funny to be somewhere where "decaf" is not an option. I really never have any caffeine except for a cup of English tea in the morning, and while in Frankfurt they had these wonderful machines that dispensed espresso and cappuccino all the time. I didn't think much of it until yesterday when I had a foul headache most of the day - but I'll be weaned off the coffee by the time I return.

I've enjoyed catching up with friends and family. Mum and Dad are off to Turkey for a few months in a week or so, I'll be really excited if they mnage to get broadband access at their house - it'll mean I can talk to them more regularly than I usually do when they're there. Tim has time booked to come over in November, and Jenny is coming over in October.

In other news, Trev has a new job. While the dosh isn't as good he will be in NY full time and we'll be able to have a normal life again. That will be very very cool. In order to make sure we can survive financially (as you know any loss of income is horrible) I've signed up for Quicken.com who now have an online option. I really want to make sure that we can have all the things we love (Billy the Trainer, massages, eating out, holidays etc) and not kill ourselves. That'll be my job while Trev's in Brazil next week. His current employer has been horrible - he has over 2 weeks of accrued vacation and they're only compensating him for a week of it. It appears his boss is an arse. I'm really happy he's leaving.

For Labor day I'm on my own. I have plans on the Saturday night, but other than that I think I'm just home hanging out. I'm sure I'll find something to do....at least shopping at the outlet mall for a day....given that Trev's not around:)

OK, I'm off to have my final drink with Tim before I head out.

Visit to the Ingolds

Last weekend we visited my cousin Caren and family. Her husband Lee did a fantastic job on the barbie, and the kids (Luke 7, Ryan 5 and Lucy 11 months) were fantastic. Mum, Dad and Tim came too and Caren's Dad, Frank (my Dad's brother) and his other half Gloria were also there - here's a selection of pics.

You can see a pic here of me with a baby - enjoy it, it doesn't come along too often:)

Little facts about me

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE
not that I know of

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED
quite a while ago

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
if i'm using the right pen or pencil

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT
turkey

DO YOU HAVE KIDS
3 step children....I consider them my own

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU
Yes

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT
depends what mood I'm in

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Yes

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP
Yes

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL
Kashi 7 grain......or if I'm in England, Shreddies

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
no

12
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
yes - both emotionally and physically

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?
Yes

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
orange

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE
Eyes

RED OR PINK
Red

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF
my body

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
Gran

DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU
Always

ARE YOU RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED?
Left

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Small doner kebab (sooooooo bad for me but sooooooo good)

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Lara Croft Tomb Raider is playing on the TV

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE
blue

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL
fresh laundry

WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY PERSON TO RESPOND TO THIS
Penny....followed quickly by Carrieanne

DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU
Of course....I wouldn't answer if not

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
none - I'd rather get a massage

EYE COLOR
blue

WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE
UK5.5, US8

FAVORITE FOOD
Sushi

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS
happy endings

LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN THEATERS
Batman

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING
Pale pink

HUGS OR KISSES
Definitely both

FAVORITE DESSERT
Lemon meringue pie

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
Mum

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW
I'm not

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD
Don't have one

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT
Nothing - was in Frankfurt

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES
Neither

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME
Australia

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT
I can email, instant message, hold a conversation and watch TV all at the same time:)

WHERE WERE YOU BORN
Hemel Hempstead, England

An honor...and "oh crap"

So this week I had a big surprise. It was an honor and while it's exciting I have lots of trepidation, not to say it's messed up some personal stuff.

I'm currently on my trip to the UK. I'm here for two weeks, having meetings in the middle of each week. In order to do this trip I had to move some stuff that Trev had organized. We were going driving round a racetrack (it was his birthday present) - and I had rearranged it for Sept 21st so i could do this current trip.

Two days ago I get an email out of the blue inviting me to attend the Women's International Networking conference in Sitges, Spain (near Barcelona) in September. it's a fully paid up trip. Wooo hooooooo! I don't even know who nominated me. 15 people are representing our company around the world - I'm the only person from the Americas. Isn't that cool? I was so shocked - stuff like this never happens to me. I feel so strange. Now, I do chair the women's network and do a lot of work each month with meetings and stuff but I didn't really think anyone noticed - I guess I was wrong.

The "oh crap" comes in when I think of traveling to a country that doesn't have English as its native language. I feel awful feeling that way, but i can't help it. I'm already freaking out about going to Frankfurt next week....and now Barcelona. I feel even worse when I spend most days talking to people whose second language is English. I need to get over it.....I just don't seem to be able to.

The second "oh crap" is that remember I rescheduled our driving because of this current trip? Well guess what? This Barcelona trip is smack bang in the middle of the rearranged trip. So......thankfully they're flexible enough that it's now booked for October 29th.

So....more traveling.... yippee!

The rest of our week off

We didn't do any of the things we'd planned - like a trip to Six Flags or a day at the Jersey Shore. That said, we have a VERY organized house with some very cool IKEA gear. Trev had his third interview on Thursday afternoon which went very well - they've asked for references and requested he fill in an application. His recruiter is handling the other negotiations. We're very very excited!

We had two parties over the weekend, both hosted in our building - AWESOME from a "how do you get home" perspective. Firstly at Rich's - it was great to see his parents again, and to get some new people around the city. It's quite funny how those that live in Manhattan see a trip to Hoboken as some kind of Indiana Jones experience:) You'd never think it was a 20min train or bus ride. Then at Nick and Jackie's they had Nick's parents visiting so we grilled out yesterday.

Today we needed rest. We got it for the most part - and I'm writing this bored witless at the airport waiting to go on my trip. Aloha my friends!

My bike

Finally! It arrived and I've ridden around on it. I think it looks a bit flipping nerdy, if you ask me but it's very comfortable and easy to ride. The colour is also not my favourite but it should hide the dirt very well. My goal when I get back from the UK in a couple of weeks is to ride it to and from the gym and off to the store for a couple of things. I'm being moaned at to get a hat (by Trev, the shop guy and Billy) and I thought Trev would have got one at the store given we'd picked it out, but he didn't. I also need something to hold a bottle of water and a tyre pump. I can feel the shopping spree coming out already.....Mum was asking me what I wanted for my birthday - I think that I've found it. Rachel bought me a chain so it can't be stolen.

My confidence isn't that high though. It's been years and years since I've ridden a bike - at school it was every day, and then when I first started work it was the same. I think since I've had a driving licence biking took a back seat. It feels kinda cool that I'm starting up again - I just hope that I keep it up.

ColorQuiz

Thanks Penny for this....do you think this is accurate? My take - about 80%

Your Existing Situation Exercises initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. Either holds, or wishes to achieve, a position of authority in which control can be exerted over events. Your Stress Sources Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality. Your Restrained Characteristics Demanding and particular in her relations with her partner or those close to her. but careful to avoid open conflict since this might reduce her prospects of realizing her hopes and ideas. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Sensitive and sentimental, but conceals this from all except those very close to him. Your Desired Objective Urgently in need of rest, relaxation, peace, and affectionate understanding. Feels she has been treated with a lack of consideration and is upset and agitated as a result. Regards her situation as intolerable as long as her requirements are not complied with. Your Actual Problem Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

My week off so far

I'm not sure what I expected of these few days at home, but I think I was expecting more down time. That said, we've accomplished quite a lot this week and I am really happy about that. I did have to go to the office on Tuesday, but that was planned. It ended with going to see a show called [name of show]. The cast were the writers which was even funnier. Very good show, if a little different.

Our biggest project of the week was to rearrange the second bedroom and make as much storage space as possible while trying to keep the bed and chest of drawers for visitors. This isn't as easy as just doing it because a) you need to sort out the crap you've accumulated and b) half of it is Trev's wardrobe and he has even more crap. The final goal was not to spend a lot of money - the quote for getting the closets done by a professional company was about $1000 a pop - way way too much for now, especially after all the work we've done this year.

The saving grace is IKEA. I even got Trev to agree that this would be a good start for the cheapness factor. It also has a fantastic cafeteria - i just love those meatballs!!!! Problem I have is get swayed by everything else and want to spend hours just looking and dreaming....you know what I mean, right? You'd think I'd go often given it's only a 20min car ride away but I really don't. We started looking at the wardrobes and closet bit on the main floor, then quickly realized this was ridiculous given we already had the closets. So, we headed to the marketplace and find some pretty cheap storage drawers and stuff. We bought a couple of mats as well - $300 was a lot better than the $2000 we were looking at. Not the prettiest stuff in the world, but it hold such a lot, it's sturdy and fits in the space we had. So, so cool. Very happy with that.

At the same time I sorted out the master closet (ie mine) as it's so small. I think I'm still going to buy some kind of shelves for the top of the closets, but for now we're doing ok. I love having more places to put things - it's refreshing not to see stuff out all the time.

I've also put our master bathroom back together. We only just found a light fitting online that we liked. Issue here is that the sink leaks and the builder hasn't been here all week to fix it. Even so, it's looking pretty good. I promise to post pics when the light is delivered and it actually works. My issue here is the vanity. I bought from eBay ages ago but the top is awful. It's stained already - and it wasn't cheap so I'm not very happy at all. Right now I'm trying to get in touch with the manufacturer and complain.

I leave for England on Sunday so we won't get to the pictures before I leave, but that'll be the job for September. I have a lot of the photos and stuff but I have a couple of places where I'd like some nice art - not really sure what, but probably contemporary/abstract type stuff.

The other reason we've not done too much this week is that the job interview Trev had last week is actually leading to something. He had a formal face to face second interview on Monday afternoon, and he's back there today assessing some documentation. So much for getting to see the Jersey shore or heading to Six Flags. It's just not gonna happen. It's Ok though - it's giving us time to do things together - even if it's just tidying up.

Rhubarb progress

Look how it's coming along. It's growing like crazy - I can't even count how many stalks now. I'm so excited - it'll be my first home grown food in the States. Cool eh?

Outlook scare

This just happened. We have at work limits on how many emails you can store. This is a challenge as I like to keep EVERYTHING just in case someone says "do you have...." - which happens at least once a quarter. I am well versed in getting around the disabled data file functionality (i have a template the tech guys gave me years ago and use it all the time) but even with only 2 weeks worth of emails on the server I was getting the dreaded "you can't send email as you're over your limit".

So...on checking I realize that my Calendar is taking up about 40% of my limit. this must be due to the fact that either I or people who organize meetings put huge attachments in there. I thought it'd be cool to archive it. Never having done it before I had to check the Help. That didn't work. It says do "File, Archive" - that didn't exist. More disabled functionality I'm sure. Anyhow....I found a way to "delete all offline content" - I thought that'd be cool, because I could always resynch my laptop.

The shock of the morning was having done that my calendar was COMPLETELY EMPTY. Like totally. Nada. Nothing. The shock - i don't know where to go, who I'm meeting, when, on what day etc etc etc.....my blood pressure went through the roof.

Having calmed down a tad I thought that i could just ask IT to reinstate my calendar from backup. I was half way writing that email and I thought maybe it'd work if I closed Outlook and restarted. Nope. That didn't work. Carried on writing my email....and then, just before I clicked send I check today's calendar again. It appeared. Everything is back.

I believe this is what is known as a "Microsoft Feature".

New Car at The Police Concert

I know we went last November to see The Police in Atlantic City but we had the opportunity to go to Holmdel, NJ and see them in an outdoor concert. We took the new car (the pics show the car with the roof down and up) with our friends Nick and Jackie to the concert and had a great time. My little camera (with a bit of help from Photoshop) did a great job capturing the event. We had a ball - and The Police were fabulous. I was bummed we got caught in traffic and we missed Elvis Costello...but hey ho, still had a great time.

I'm off to work tomorrow for the day, then have the rest of the week on vacation. The hardest thing we have to do all week is pick a vanity light for the master bath. I'm really looking forward to the time off.

Dinosaurs and health checks

I've been meaning to post for days. So much has gone on - we seem to have been so busy and I've had no time to post. To explain the pics first - we went out on Saturday night to Madison Square Garden and saw "Walking with Dinosaurs". It was phenomenal (if short) - if you look closely you'll see a guy walking around who was the narrator and he did a fantastic job. So you know, the dinosaurs were life size...so the guy is really small. I wasn't sure I would enjoy it but it was so cool and they did a fantastic job. From the pics you'd never know we were in the gods.

While we're on the subject of pics I'm ALMOST a convert to Adobe Photoshop Elements. Dory was good to put me onto that and while I think it's quirky and not particularly intuitive, the pics do turn out. Luckily I got a free trial for 30 days and I've been loads of places so I can check it out and decide if I want to buy it. I'm getting better slowly but surely and don't feel such an ameteur any more. The pics in this post were taken with a little ultra Sony point and shoot. Given it wasn't a big kick ass camera with loads of gizmos I think they turned out pretty well. Dory....you'll have to give me your expert opinion.

One of the other things we did last week was get health checks. My company's benefits this year allow for a full medical and because next year it's going away we both went to Rockafella Center and got the works. To give you an idea, it takes about 4 hours.... you get tested for everything, you talk to a doctor, you get weighed (urggggh), then mammograms etc. I have to tell you I was dreading the mammogram never having had one before. I've heard horror stories. There are clearly benefits to big boobs.....because while it wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world it didn't hurt either. Anyway, I'm clear - yippee! One of the coolest things was that they told me I'd lost 22lb since the last time I went a couple of years ago. Yeeeeeeehaaaaa! While this isn't a huge amount of weight in two years I was pretty impressed. Made me eat healthy all day! We get all the full results this week so watch this space.

On the chinese massage place round the corner, Trev got his first massage on Saturday. It didn't go so well and he was very upset as I'd said it was so great. On Saturday night on the way back from the Dinosaurs I went in and complained. It's pretty flipping funny when the guy masseuse is crappy - and the small women are the best!

Birthday blog

I promised that I'd post a pic of dinner for my birthday. We celebrated with (L-R) Jackie and Nick, Monica and Billy and ourselves.

We went out to Les Halles in downtown NYC (http://www.leshalles.net/ny_downtown.php). I was so psyched to be there - the Executive Chef is Anthony Bourdain. He has a TV show on the Travel Channel called (Anthony Bourdain, No Reservations) where he travels the world and checks out the food - I'm a total addict to this show. Love it. The food was fantastic. Certainly will take anyone there who comes to visit. Thanks Peter for recommending to Dad to take me there. Loved it. We had several cocktails, all 3 courses and then went out to club after. Rolled in at home around 2.30am.....see, I'm not old really:) Took all of Sunday to recover though....

So, in case you were wondering Nick and Jackie are our neighbours (the ones who lived with us earlier in the year), Monica is Billy's girlfriend, Billy is our trainer and friend. You can pick us out:)

I'm really looking forward to a week on holiday next week. We're going to bum around home - Trev has a job interview, have a couple of summer parties and generally laziness. We're going to explore the jersey shore and even get a trip into Six Flags Theme Park.

A new indulgence

I promise that I will post a birthday entry - I'm struggling with editing the pictures. Dory suggested using Adobe Photoshop Elements - so, I have my trial downloaded and last night was trying to fix red eye. It did an auto-red eye thing - the only problem is that for poor Trev he's got one fixed red eye....and one not. I've looked on help and it seems really clear on how to fix that - but can I find it on that applicable? Can I crap.... so, Dory if you read this can you pop me an emaiil and tell me how dumb i'm being and how to fix it...? Thanks!

Back to my new indulgence. We had a flashy pilates studio round the corner from us - and I had to admit while it looked lovely it was always empty. Last week I noticed it changed to Chi First - it's a Chinese massage parlour. They have another shop the other end of town and every time I've gone past on the bus I'd always wanted to try it. I didn't really need much of an excuse - I hurt my back last week and it's driving me crazy. I have gone through loads of Icy Hot patches and while they're good while they're on, they have fixed anything. I'm walking around like a little old lady - and to top it off my face allergy came back, so I look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle again. How crap is that? One of the coolest things about this place is that it's $60 for an hour's massage. Not sure what it's like for you but that is really really really cheap - and i couldn't resist. Last night I went round, got an appointment - and oh my! All I can say is that I'll be a regular - Lisa the therapist was awesome. I did get a bit scared when she jumped on the table and stood on my lower back (you know...the bit that hurts) - but I do think I feel better. I can certainly move better - although still quite sore. I'm going to go and stretch at the gym tonight and see if that helps. i know I just don't want to fly to England with a bad back - if that doesn't work then it'll be a chiropractor next.

On a totally different topic, we broke down and bought the second sofa (can't remember if I said that) - so hopefully it'll be here in a few weeks. We just decided that no-one ever wants to sit on the leather chairs so it's really not fair. I think it'll look nice.

Our place is in a mess right now - we're having new tiles laid in the master bathroom as the others were so, so horrible. I can't believe our toilet is on the balcony....but I guess that's better than anywhere else:) They did a lot yesterday - they're part way complete. Hopefully by tomorrow it'll all be done!

Went and saw the Batman movie. I thought it was pretty good, although long. Certainly better than Hancock!

Rachel now has a confirmed date for her wedding - Saturday November 14th 2009....so let the planning begin!

OK, back to work...think that's it for now. I promise I'll post a pic or 2 from the weekend!

Thinking of Rach

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1038368/Here-comes-bargain-bride-In-2-50-bespoke-wedding-dress-bought-eBay.html

What a cool article. This woman got a made to measure gown for $5. Amazing eh? Gotta love the internet:)

Children or not children

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1038090/The-great-taboo-Why-childless-women-treated-like-second-class-citizens.html

An interesting article here from a woman who feels like a second class citizen because she doesn't have children. I don't have that feeling at all so I guess my take on it is a little different on a number of fronts:

As a child I never felt the urge to have a family. Ever. I played with dolls but it never felt like I wanted any of my own. Maybe it was because I fought tooth and nail with my brother - we're best buds now...but it was not like that when we were little. I have never understood the urge and even today while I think babies are cute I really don't feel the need to run up and cuddle it. At the same time I wasn't a particular tom boy - babies just didn't interest me.

I've thought for the longest time those feelings were mother nature's way of helping me with the fact that I couldn't have children. Having a hysterectomy at 31 I always wondered what would happen if I woke up one day with those maternal feelings. It freaked me out for a day or so back then, but then I rationalized it by telling myself I could always adopt one from China (or wherever...). As I approach 41 it hasn't happened yet. Maybe it will, maybe it won't - all I know is that if you raise teenagers then babies probably don't attract you.

Maybe I didn't have that urge because I met someone who had 3 kids already and they needed a mother figure. I can't imagine loving a child I'd given birth to any more than I do those 3 so maybe I have my kids already - just not the usual way. They're all grown up now - but I do remember being holed up in Cedar Rapids (don't worry - we grew to love it!!) wondering how on earth I was going to survive looking after opinionated teenagers while their Dad was off on business. Today I'm still proud of the fact that no matter how difficult it got they never, ever once told me "you're not my mother". We worked it out the old fashioned way - talking, arguing, agreeing - oh yeah and the regular hug and "I love you". We all came out the other end and they're all independent and successful, each in their different ways. I'd like to think that I had something to do with that.

A lot of that came from my own upbringing. While I might argue my parents were too strict. they instilled a lot of good values that I used. Eating together every day at a table with the TV off talking about things that happened that day. I do think the fact that I gave up my job for a few years to become "mum" helped - I did a lot of cleaning, laundry and cooking in those day.....still can't believe I did it - but hey, what else are you going to do? I'm really not a housewife at all.... I guess I treated it as a job in a weird kind of way - and I guess it was. Seemed to work though. Even though we're now spread out over 4 states we all talk/email/instant message frequently about stuff. Sometimes it's for a reason, but usually it's just a hi. We also try and get together at least a few times a year.

What I learnt from being part of that family was how to interact with my own....Mum, Dad, Tim and I are closer now than we ever have been. I've never doubted how we feel about each other - we're close without smothering each other. It's cool. Now I'm in NYC it's even better as I'm getting back more frequently than ever and like the last few months when I wanted to be back for Mum's surgery I could work remotely. I have such a great family. I'm blessed.

So, back to the article - why does this woman feel like a second class citizen? And why does she feel you can't be a mother unless you give birth? I guess I just don't get it.

Now, remember boys...

....use the toilet. If you don't you could end up like this polish fella.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1453527.ece