Now I'm safely with Peter in Colorado and have done a day's ski-ing I can relax and reply the past few weeks. This may go on a bit....don't say I didn't warn you:)
Every time I think I'm getting somewhere at work I relax, feel better, start working normal hours....and then it all blows up again. I had a cathartic afternoon last Friday by basically telling the guy that's been giving me grief EXACTLY how I felt. This is the same dude that has hounded me for the last 4 years - he's worked for me directly a few times, and I've even threatened to fire him if his behaviour didn't change (but changed my job before I could follow through). It never ceases to amaze me that he assumes everyone (regardless of their level!) is an idiot and has done absolutely nothing, and even if they had, it would be crap. It's infuriating. It was so bad about a month ago in my 121 with my boss I asked her to clarify my role in the project. It was simple....I was her. This made such a difference - it was clear that I was running the program. This made it really easy for me and i was back on track. That was my first 'serenity' moment - when clarity hit and I didn't need to worry about feelings so much.
OK, back to Friday. I have put together a program and presentation for this project to start communicating to staff proactively. I have lots of experience and am clear on the detail I want to portray. I sent a note stating the agenda, asked for feedback and then asked the team to provide me with their slides to include. Good, right? OK...what set me off was that he replied to my email, copied my boss (yeah, that's right - copied my boss!!!!!) and said he didn't agree with the agenda. Never talked to me, called or anything. Un - freaking - real. I went nuts - it takes a lot for me to lose my temper but I was not happy for a few reasons:
1) not talking to me if you're not happy shows a lack of respect....
2) my boss doesn't give a crap....her view is simple - she's paying you to fix the problems
3) my boss doesn't understand the word "NO" :):):)
4) I was running the project/program
Anyway, I told him he needed to find me on Friday and we WOULD TALK.....not exchange email. It took until 3.30pm for him to find me.... and it started nice enough. He then started saying he was annoyed that I didn't consult him, that I was interfering etc etc. I said that I agreed, I was interfering but that's because he's worked on this project a year and there's no plan, documentation, issues list, task list or ANYTHING. I had also asked around for feedback on the current team structure and people weren't happy. I immediately asked him if he understood my role (he said no) and then clarified. I gave it back to him right between the eyes.
1) I have asked several times for the agenda before his meetings in case I want to add anything. I never get it
2) He makes comments in meetings that are not correct
3) he keeps complaining/escalating about resources, but he doesn't actually have a plan or documentation to demonstrate it's an issue at this point
4) He excludes me from decisions he's unilaterally made for the department that miss key items. Because he doesn't consult me ever the only time I can challenge is at a meeting
I could go on, but I feel my blood pressure rising.
Here comes the cathartic moment. He started going on at me about a million things. "I sent notes, or copy notes to Deb (my boss) and I get no response". That was so funny to me. I looked at him and asked him if he was expecting direction from her.....he said yes. This is when I started laughing. I said to him that it's not her style - and that she's expecting us to provide that direction to the team. She's expecting regular updates that she can give to her management, she needs documentation that can show her we have it under control, she needs to be able to work with competing forces and look at all of them - and that his number 1 priority should be to cover her ass! Anyway that's when I realized that this kid for all his BS actually likes to be told what to do. Interesting.
Now, I thought everything was clear, I sent out a kick off meeting notice for planning with all key players in our group globally for next Wednesday. He then tells me again that the agenda is wrong. WTF is wrong with this guy? There's nothing I can do while I'm watching the beautiful Colorado mountains....
the other thing that drives me nuts is that he challenges everyone but without a context. Example - "so, when do you think you'll have it? Wednesday? No, why not? It has to be Friday at the latest" he doesn't know he needs it by then and the other guys have lots of work going on. What amazes me is that the don't push back on him....because I know I would.
Anyway, it's now just a matter of time before I kick his ass out. His usefulness is gone I think.
I talked to my boss again, just to verify my approach and what I'm doing and she's fine. Hopefully this will resolve itself.
Anyway, here we are in Colorado. We ski'ed yesterday and I think today we're hanging out in Boulder. Had great indian food last night and enjoying getting away for a few days.
The clock goes forward Saturday night for us, with the 2 hour time difference, and landing at home at 11pm Sunday night our Monday is going to be tiring.
Two weeks from now we're back in Iowa. I'm so looking forward to that weekend it's not even funny! I can catch up with friends and enjoy - but it'll be another knackering weekend!
