Children or not children

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1038090/The-great-taboo-Why-childless-women-treated-like-second-class-citizens.html

An interesting article here from a woman who feels like a second class citizen because she doesn't have children. I don't have that feeling at all so I guess my take on it is a little different on a number of fronts:

As a child I never felt the urge to have a family. Ever. I played with dolls but it never felt like I wanted any of my own. Maybe it was because I fought tooth and nail with my brother - we're best buds now...but it was not like that when we were little. I have never understood the urge and even today while I think babies are cute I really don't feel the need to run up and cuddle it. At the same time I wasn't a particular tom boy - babies just didn't interest me.

I've thought for the longest time those feelings were mother nature's way of helping me with the fact that I couldn't have children. Having a hysterectomy at 31 I always wondered what would happen if I woke up one day with those maternal feelings. It freaked me out for a day or so back then, but then I rationalized it by telling myself I could always adopt one from China (or wherever...). As I approach 41 it hasn't happened yet. Maybe it will, maybe it won't - all I know is that if you raise teenagers then babies probably don't attract you.

Maybe I didn't have that urge because I met someone who had 3 kids already and they needed a mother figure. I can't imagine loving a child I'd given birth to any more than I do those 3 so maybe I have my kids already - just not the usual way. They're all grown up now - but I do remember being holed up in Cedar Rapids (don't worry - we grew to love it!!) wondering how on earth I was going to survive looking after opinionated teenagers while their Dad was off on business. Today I'm still proud of the fact that no matter how difficult it got they never, ever once told me "you're not my mother". We worked it out the old fashioned way - talking, arguing, agreeing - oh yeah and the regular hug and "I love you". We all came out the other end and they're all independent and successful, each in their different ways. I'd like to think that I had something to do with that.

A lot of that came from my own upbringing. While I might argue my parents were too strict. they instilled a lot of good values that I used. Eating together every day at a table with the TV off talking about things that happened that day. I do think the fact that I gave up my job for a few years to become "mum" helped - I did a lot of cleaning, laundry and cooking in those day.....still can't believe I did it - but hey, what else are you going to do? I'm really not a housewife at all.... I guess I treated it as a job in a weird kind of way - and I guess it was. Seemed to work though. Even though we're now spread out over 4 states we all talk/email/instant message frequently about stuff. Sometimes it's for a reason, but usually it's just a hi. We also try and get together at least a few times a year.

What I learnt from being part of that family was how to interact with my own....Mum, Dad, Tim and I are closer now than we ever have been. I've never doubted how we feel about each other - we're close without smothering each other. It's cool. Now I'm in NYC it's even better as I'm getting back more frequently than ever and like the last few months when I wanted to be back for Mum's surgery I could work remotely. I have such a great family. I'm blessed.

So, back to the article - why does this woman feel like a second class citizen? And why does she feel you can't be a mother unless you give birth? I guess I just don't get it.