Work dilemma...brain dump!

I've never usually had an issue getting on with people at work. While I'm a strong driver of deliverables I'm usually fair and work well with everyone. Every once in a while someone comes along who just gets right under my skin and whatever method of communication/planning/talking/emailing/relationship building I try they still irritate the crap out of me.

I'm working with someone this year who's driven me nuts for years. They first started working for back in 2005, then I took a break when they moved, then they worked for me for 2 years. They're so arrogant and I think the thing that just amazes me is that they have absolutely no fear - of anything or anyone. They are secretive and won't share information - it's totally nuts. I'm not usually to pull rank but he's several levels below me - and it would be nice that I was not treated like I was little more than a piece of dirt who knows nothing. Especially when I know that a) I don't and b) most of my colleagues agree with me. Now this is one of the biggest projects the company has ever under taken and it's important to get it right. I know that the people I work with are comfortable with my approach - so I'm very frustrated with myself that I just can't seem to cut a break with this idiot.

I hear all these voices in my head about how not to let them project their behaviour onto me, or to allow myself to get emotionally caught up in the BS that's going on. I also know lots of ways to get these kind of people on side....just NOTHING works. Nothing at all.

I know that I have lots of information and I'm just fed up getting emails to me, copied to the world with (and I quote) "This is critical to the account planning process. " No sh*t, sherlock! And that was the last sentence of the flipping email. So rude. And obnoxious.

So, I'm trying to figure out how the hell I get out of this. I know that I need to project manage them into a corner.....however, it's really hard when they won't share any information at all - unless I go to my boss and say they won't give it me, she then in turn emails them and then I get it. Seems ridiculously stupid and childish. It's also nuts that they INSIST on copying my boss on EVERYTHING. She doesn't care - she trusts that we'll make it happen. Such an idiot.

Back on track....I'm creating the plan and pieces and basically creating my dependencies on him. That way when I meet with them I'm focusing on deliverables and not my emotions. I just wish they'd quit and get a new job. This is way way too much stress.

I'm always so open...so I find it very difficult when people are secretive. By this I mean, I suggested we had some kind of repository for documentation/analysis/plans/issues lists etc - and they said no because "they don't want documents getting into the wrong hands". What the hell does that mean? This is a global project. How crappy is that? So, so short sighted.

I'm determined to get through this - I'm just trying to figure out the best way through. So, i've decided to start with what I know best - roles and responsibilities, a high level project plan and basic immediate deliverables.

Wish me luck!